The Fridge

2005-08-25T16:37:00.000+12:00

"now that's what I call giving affection- getting a lick on the ear"

2005-05-22T23:28:00.000+12:00

“coz skanky teenagers are my rolemodels”

A Revelation

2005-05-02T11:01:00.000+12:00

"I had a revelation: I love boys. No particular one, just all of them"

In the Engineering Building

2005-04-22T13:41:00.000+12:00

"There's no-one to look at."
"We can look at the engineers."

Semantic Paraphasia

2005-04-22T13:40:00.000+12:00

On a cold day:
"It's quite frisky out here."

2005-04-21T15:31:00.000+12:00

"I'm bored. Let's do something. What shall we do?"
"Strip naked and run through some lecture theatres."

2005-04-11T22:20:00.000+12:00

"...a total breakdown of law and order... brought to you by microsoft" - TV

"you're like the straight version of Ruth!"

"I love it when people worship me!"

"Since you guys so enjoy shafting each other..."

"Wannabe Geeks - that's a pretty sad predicament"
"I've got poo do you really want it?"
"This chair is ovulating"

"The ground needs to be humping"
"Somebody is currently engaged in the act of loving me"
"Look! It's a rabbit with flying teeth!"

"I'm not grumpy! What is wrong with you crazy crazy people?????"
"I am a tooth fairy, and you're in debt"

On full time work: "You learn to make work your life, and you live from it, like a leech sucking blood from a large cow"
On Evangelicals: "They don't really know why they believe what they do, but they cling to it like a monkey clinging to a branch above a river of hungry crocodiles"

"When they go to heaven they die"

"I don't feel like too many people" - "Did you say you don't feel too many people???"
"Well, Jesus was a heretic"

untitled

2005-04-03T22:47:00.000+12:00

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Content preview: 'i feel like a frog trapped in a womans body' - a guy
[...]

Content analysis details: (7.1 points, 5.0 required)

pts rule name description
---- ---------------------- --------------------------------------------------
0.2 NO_REAL_NAME From: does not include a real name
0.5 FROM_ENDS_IN_NUMS From: ends in numbers
1.5 FROM_STARTS_WITH_NUMS From: starts with nums
1.7 MSGID_FROM_MTA_ID Message-Id for external message added locally
1.7 FROM_ALL_NUMS From an address that is all numbers (non-phone)
1.6 MISSING_SUBJECT Missing Subject: header

untitled

2005-04-03T17:34:00.000+12:00

Content preview: 'Todays one of those days when i don't want to kill a
baby' [...]

Content analysis details: (7.1 points, 5.0 required)

From the Suva St Quote Board

2005-03-18T00:41:00.000+13:00

From a visitor, making a debut:
"My definition of 'good' is: Sheep"

Quotes from a certian short girl:
Guy 1: "I'm going to marry Guy 2"
Girl: "I'm going to marry EVERYONE"

"We'll make such good parents" - talking about one of the residents

Quotes from that resident
"You're not enjoying it if you're not making noise - and that applies to a lot of things"
"Laws and genetics aside..." (speaking about marriage)

And quotes another resident:
"I can't see how it benefits you not wearing pants"
"I could have a baby!"
"are they breeders?"
"Do you do that touching thing at church?"

Finally, A quote of a quality we come to expect from this visitor:
"What's the fun of being a megalomaniac if you can't burn people with acid?"

untitled

2005-02-28T20:18:00.000+13:00

'how can i add her to my harem, if she doesn't have the hat?!'

2005-02-26T10:20:00.000+13:00

"I just can't stop leering at everybody"

"recently its just become a fixation to leer at everyone"

2005-02-21T21:45:00.000+13:00

"I flagrantly wasted my time at uni studying, when I should have been hooking up with [rich] guys"

"If you're searching for a christian fiancee theres no point looking at what you've already seen"
"But what if what you've seen is worth a second look?"

Things not to say in church

2005-02-20T21:42:00.000+13:00

"Can someone please turn me on?"

2004-12-05T20:30:00.000+13:00

Sometimes she only responds to a good slapping

2004-12-03T20:07:00.000+13:00

'one word, whipped cream'

2004-11-24T21:22:00.000+13:00

"Bob, you're my sweet sweet pudding"

2004-11-06T21:00:00.000+13:00

'i had an udder...but in the end it just dangled!'

2004-11-05T01:27:00.000+13:00

'im probably hotter than i think i am'

2004-11-03T16:29:00.000+13:00

“I'm probably hotter than I think I am”

2004-10-26T14:24:00.000+13:00

"Please can you check to see if I'm deflowered."

2004-10-20T22:26:00.000+13:00

"You don't know the half of what I get up to on the internet"

2004-10-15T18:27:00.000+13:00

After rubber gloves have been applied to hands with a ping 'how can you not love that sound?'

2004-10-12T11:42:00.000+13:00

"I'm getting myself a fetus in a box"

2004-10-08T23:45:00.000+13:00

'i think my more looks quite good with a little lip stick on it'

2004-10-08T23:36:00.000+13:00

'every time i sit down, another piece pops out!'

2004-10-08T15:05:00.000+13:00

"I'm a rabid dog"

On the Sunrise

2004-10-08T08:58:00.000+13:00

"It's like the moon at halloween. Only it's the sun and it's rising."

"The sun is like the moon, only shinier."

2004-10-06T21:06:00.000+13:00

...you can't pull that trick on me, cos i know he's not hot - even if I was a girl I wouldn't find him hot - I mean a girl um who wasnt related to him

2004-10-06T20:42:00.001+13:00

i dont run after my chairs screaming "get out of my house" ... well i don't!!

2004-10-06T20:42:00.000+13:00

I can sift anyone - but hugging requires a level of intimacy

2004-10-02T17:54:00.000+12:00

Is it that the girls feed off each other?

2004-10-02T17:53:00.000+12:00

Yes! I got to scope out Neilson!
_{(Name changed for privacy)}

2004-10-02T17:52:00.001+12:00

"I'm going to put those undies on the wall as trophies"
"Theres a lot of love in those undies"

2004-10-02T17:52:00.000+12:00

I can't sift while you're looking!

2004-09-29T16:12:00.000+12:00

"Let's pretend to be in an intimate relationshi... I mean talk"

2004-09-27T14:45:00.000+12:00

"I hope they don't drown"
-Spth girl on receiving fish for her birthday

2004-09-27T10:47:00.000+12:00

I've got about as much ambitiousness as a penut

2004-09-27T01:57:00.000+12:00

It's a lot quieter without pants

2004-09-20T11:45:00.000+12:00

"I'm impressed by the cleavage"

2004-09-19T22:22:00.000+12:00

'you could name your breasts France and Belarus!'

2004-09-15T21:17:00.000+12:00

All i see is all the naked jiggly people!

2004-09-14T14:55:00.000+12:00

Im sure I was adopted before I was born

perhaps we shouldn't be going there…

2004-09-13T20:38:00.000+12:00

in reference to Song of Solomon 7:7 (Good News) “What? all dry and
shriveled up??”

Hmmm,

2004-09-13T20:37:00.000+12:00

"Hey, Song of Solomon has some cool illustrations in it!"

2004-09-12T20:10:00.000+12:00

'So when you see a guy with a blue cap on, thats God'

2004-09-12T19:56:00.000+12:00

'...And thats so true - so ill you've gotta do is give them a bit of God and stick it in their hole...'

2004-09-10T20:22:00.000+12:00

'I'll be poo'

2004-09-10T18:11:00.000+12:00

“I would have to like to see ample cleavage.”

2004-09-08T21:42:00.000+12:00

'there is a arse in everything!'

2004-09-08T15:43:00.001+12:00

"I"m not a geek. I just study hard"

2004-09-08T15:43:00.000+12:00

"I"m not a geek. I just study hard"

2004-09-06T12:38:00.000+12:00

I reserve my butt touching rights for Ruth!

2004-09-02T14:04:00.001+12:00

Girl #1: "is that what you want, a nice massage?"
Girl #w: "with or without the clothes on?"

2004-09-02T14:04:00.000+12:00

"Being clean is overrated"

2004-09-02T14:03:00.000+12:00

"I'm sorry guys, I was distracted by the bacon"

She just doesn't stop!

2004-09-01T16:48:00.000+12:00

"check this out... "garlic bread without the garlic is nicer.... then you can kiss whoever you want and it doesnt matter","
(About the previous quote:)
"see... i can say whatever i want now... cos theres no way you'll quote me 4 times... thats like a fridge monopoly"

and later:
"its not my quotes that are dodgy... its me!"
(Do I even need to say who said this?)

even later:
"i am starting to look very shifty" "starting?" "okay fine... i am shifty"

2004-09-01T16:35:00.000+12:00

Guy#1: Say it loud! I'm a man an' I'm proud!
Guy#2: w00t
Girl: im a man an' i'm proud!
Girl: there... i said it!

Later:
Girl: i just smell manly
Guy#2: would you like a shovel?
Girl: and act manly sometimes

2004-09-01T14:30:00.000+12:00

“I am not shiftier in spring. I am shifty all year round, and more so
after 8,30pm. Sometimes even before 8.30”

More Strokling?

2004-09-01T14:20:00.000+12:00

"how do you spell 'strokling'?"
"Like 'Klingon', but without the 'on', and with a 'stro' at the start"
"As opposed to just 'stroking' with an 'l'??"

Editers note: Strokling is a combination of the words 'stroking' and 'tickling', the most common spelling of which uses 'stro-' and '-kling', to form strokling. This needs to differentiated from 'tic-' and 'king', an incorrect derivation from the root words, which refers to what a clock does.

2004-08-31T22:20:00.000+12:00

"There's nothing wrong with a bit of strokling between friends"

2004-08-30T11:05:00.000+12:00

It's not Saturday - that's later today.

2004-08-29T15:08:00.000+12:00

"What's wrong with imaginary numbers?"
"The same thing that's wrong with imaginary friends"
"But that's different, imaginary numbers are real."

2004-08-28T14:42:00.000+12:00

'I love meatloaf! I want to have his kids!'

2004-08-27T23:04:00.000+12:00

I'm as shifty As they Come

2004-08-19T15:55:00.000+12:00

"ooh! so you're inviting me to your house aye!"
"yes. i have nothing but the shiftiest intentions"

Rule of Avoiding quotes #4: Know what the words you are saying mean

2004-08-19T15:42:00.000+12:00

"Are you disciminating?"
"No, I'm just... dis...eminating"

Why is this man single?

2004-08-17T13:43:00.000+12:00

"Girls are like couches...big, fat and sit around the house all day doing nothing."

2004-08-17T13:42:00.000+12:00

"Ok, class project: someone has to get pregnant so we can have a class baby."

" I was thinking about getting pregnant last night."

2004-08-12T13:04:00.000+12:00

We've found the best new game in our flat - slapping each others butts

2004-08-10T09:35:00.000+12:00

"That's the problem with starting things before you finish them"

2004-08-10T09:34:00.000+12:00

"Yay, 12 year old boys like me! That'll do for now!"

2004-08-09T17:17:00.000+12:00

"I have a hairy face"
-Anon spth girl

2004-08-09T17:16:00.000+12:00

"All girls are half male"

More From Auckland…

2004-08-08T23:48:00.000+12:00

'I wasn't touching you, I was playing with you'

2004-08-08T23:00:00.000+12:00

'i mean, how often do you find dead guys sneaking around the house?'

2004-08-06T21:53:00.000+12:00

I'd be embarrassed if my fiance liked me!

2004-08-06T21:15:00.000+12:00

'I'm beginning to covert those sheep already'

2004-08-05T19:00:00.000+12:00

“I hate trying to put rings on girls”

2004-08-03T22:32:00.000+12:00

'Next time you can call me a feral cow!'

sorry, text messaging typo

2004-08-03T21:57:00.000+12:00

'I wish i was a person'

2004-08-03T19:23:00.000+12:00

'I like muscley dreams'

2004-08-03T13:13:00.000+12:00

“the way to a mans stomach is through his heart”

“can you make me a hot baby?”

2004-08-02T23:32:00.000+12:00

“Personally I don't think America is any more stupid than any other country, they just have more resources to implement their stupidity”

2004-08-02T14:07:00.000+12:00

"The only way you'll get some guys to open up is if you're stuck in the bush in the dark with a gun"

2004-08-02T13:02:00.000+12:00

“Its time for an underwear inspection!”

2004-08-01T17:13:00.000+12:00

"It's not a good day without a peek through the undergrowth"

Camp Quotes

2004-08-01T17:07:00.000+12:00

We enjoyed camp, and hope you will too:

“We wink at truck drivers, especially the hot ones”

“[… its just that lincoln has cows, sheep and chickens]”
“We don't do chickens”

“It's OK - just use dead people”

At the table: “I'm just relieving myself”

“Xenophon”
“That's foreign sounding”

“She's ragged”

“And I brought my big ovaries”

“If I was russian, my name would be Steve Waynski”

“I want to be a communist”

“Do Maori's kiss each other?”
“They kiss me!”

But wait, theres more!

2004-08-01T16:59:00.000+12:00

“I would give my left buttocks for a sheep…”

“Andrew, can I have you legs.”

“Can I have your buttocks?”

“If its any consolation, I would have wanted my left buttocks back”

From Our Auckland Correspondent

2004-08-01T16:54:00.000+12:00

"You can always just run into the ladies room and wet yourself again"

2004-08-01T12:31:00.000+12:00

'so, how would you relate a sausage to the gospel?'

2004-07-30T17:48:00.000+12:00

'So, does cats milk taste nice?'

2004-07-26T17:10:00.000+12:00

"Are you a think-out-loud person?"

"No, I'm a talk all the time and think very little person"

2004-07-26T08:44:00.000+12:00

"I didn't try to kill you, I just made some stupid assumptions"

2004-07-26T08:42:00.000+12:00

"I've seen two girls in engineering today and they've all been girls"

2004-07-25T01:09:00.000+12:00

'you have the sexiest chin i have seen in years!'

2004-07-23T14:20:00.000+12:00

"You could pimp my brain!"

2004-07-23T14:19:00.000+12:00

"That's the last time I stroke a guys hand, even in jest"
-Anonymous boy who has his finger in all the pies

2004-07-22T16:31:00.000+12:00

"I know people are going to be looking at my butt"

2004-07-20T18:38:00.000+12:00

'guess what! I cooked myself in the fire!'