"now that's what I call giving affection- getting a lick on the ear"

“coz skanky teenagers are my rolemodels”

A Revelation

"I had a revelation: I love boys. No particular one, just all of them"

In the Engineering Building

"There's no-one to look at."
"We can look at the engineers."

Semantic Paraphasia

On a cold day:
"It's quite frisky out here."

"I'm bored. Let's do something. What shall we do?"
"Strip naked and run through some lecture theatres."

"...a total breakdown of law and order... brought to you by microsoft" - TV

"you're like the straight version of Ruth!"

"I love it when people worship me!"

"Since you guys so enjoy shafting each other..."

"Wannabe Geeks - that's a pretty sad predicament"
"I've got poo do you really want it?"
"This chair is ovulating"

"The ground needs to be humping"
"Somebody is currently engaged in the act of loving me"
"Look! It's a rabbit with flying teeth!"

"I'm not grumpy! What is wrong with you crazy crazy people?????"
"I am a tooth fairy, and you're in debt"

On full time work: "You learn to make work your life, and you live from it, like a leech sucking blood from a large cow"
On Evangelicals: "They don't really know why they believe what they do, but they cling to it like a monkey clinging to a branch above a river of hungry crocodiles"

"When they go to heaven they die"

"I don't feel like too many people" - "Did you say you don't feel too many people???"
"Well, Jesus was a heretic"

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